im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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