i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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