Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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