i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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