Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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