Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
cat food counts as protein by the way
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
