Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
