i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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