I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
try to milk me bitch
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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