Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
