every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
His nipple licking is glorious
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