Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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