Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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