the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
