Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
