no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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