The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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