this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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