I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize