didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
