we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
