it was like his penis was on wheels.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize