Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
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After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize