we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
did you just send me my own nude
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
