i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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