home. puking in laundry basket.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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