there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Randomize