I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
