i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
