Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
