Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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