so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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