i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize