Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
