i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Randomize
