Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
