He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
