this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
