none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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