all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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