he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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