Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
