Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
