i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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