it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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