At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
