just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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