they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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