Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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