Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize