i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
