Ambien. No doubt about it.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Houston, we have a blender
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
