in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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