why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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