Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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