ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
