So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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