Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
