My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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